Experiences- National Infertility Week

 This week I head to the Texas Library Association Conference which I am SUPER excited about! Number 22 on my #50by50 list is to present at this conference!  I made this #50by50 list so I could document the experiences I wanted to have and goals for myself.

This week is also National Infertility Week. You can find more information here.  I think the last time I shared my story was in 2019. You can find that blog here with all the different links to previous blogs.  As always, I write these blogs to share my own journey to where I am and what it looks like. I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) When my husband and I first got married we tried to start our family. I have shed SO many tears over so much heartache.  I have often felt betrayed by my own body for why it can not do the things that I feel it should do.  We spent thousands of dollars and did lots of treatments and lots of medication.  We never got to the IVF stage, because that was not in our journey. We have now been married for almost 17 years and as I have grown older (and hopefully wiser) I realize one of the biggest things I was worried about was experiences.

These last two weeks have really helped me reflect on why I wanted kids.  I wanted kids to be able to grow into contributing members of society.  I wanted kids to be able to go to band concerts, choir concerts, athletic games, or anything that they wanted to be a part of.  I wanted to be able to listen to what they were going through and help them grow through it. I wanted to see them dressed in matching PJs at Christmas. I wanted to be able to travel with them and go on adventures. I wanted to be able to have a group of moms where all of our kids hung out together. This list could go On and On.  

But, as I was reflecting on the many reasons I wanted kids, I realized I just kept going on the experiences that I wanted. Sometimes, something is staring you right in the face.  I know that I won't have the experiences as an official "mom" or "parent" but I have been able to have experiences because of the activities that I attend at school- I go to the games- I go to the concerts- I want those kids to see me the stands and know that I am supporting them.  I am  able to have experiences because of traveling and watching kids grow through my Destination ImagiNation teams (did I mention that they are going to Globals)

But- most of my experiences have come through my Girl Scout Troops.  Girl Scouts is so important to me to help girls grow- but my two troops are a whole different level. 

This is only a small portion of my troop, but because of these amazing young women and their families- I am able to get the experiences I might not have had otherwise.  I have had the chance to watch them grow (some I have been hanging out with since they were in kindergarten and now they are 5th and 6th graders).  I have had experiences of dressing in matching clothes (I mean check out this pic) I have had SO many adventures with them (and we have even more adventures coming up like heading to Canyon, Texas.. and New York!)  Not only am I able to have experiences with these girls, I have also found a place with moms.  Instead of a #momsquad we call ourselves the groupies.  They don't look at me any different because I do not have a daughter of my own but trust me enough to help them become strong women in society (these girls are going to change the world)

There are times when I cry because I know that there won't be a child in my house that I can tuck in at night or one that officially calls me mom.  There will be some experiences that I won't be able to have.  But, there are oh so many experiences I am able to have because of the people I surround myself with.

I end with this- if you too are suffering from infertility- know that your journey will be filled with so many experiences- surround yourself with people that support you for who you are. I am SO happy for all the parents that are able to have children of their own, adopt, foster.. or have families in any way that they can.  I too have my sad times where I think of the things I will not have (I am human)

Thank you to those that are on my journey and allow me to have experiences that I might not be able to have otherwise.